Not Without Love

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Not Without Love by Jimmy Needham

I tried Lord
I tried hard to be Your good little boy
Chin up, head high
All zeal and no joy
Thinking all my good deeds could please Jesus
Boy, was I wrong
Though I knew the right songs, all my cymbals and gongs played the melodies wrong
And it wasn’t long ‘til I saw my disease
A life spent wanting to please
On hands and knees
To make right, to appease
God help me please
This can’t be Christianity, it can’t be
The whole thing’s like insanity
Where’s the rest of eternal security?
Where’s the hope of a God big enough to cope with all my hang-ups and insecurities?
Certainly this isn’t breathing
My chest burning and heaving
It’s like my pulse is ceasing
Like my heart quits beating
Yet this I recall to mind and therefore I have hope:
You died, Lord
You died, Lord
Assuredly, like the coming of the dawn, the Father’s love song goes on
Drowning out my bitter songs
And breaking through walls and barriers
Christ swoops in, removes sin, picks up His bride and carries her
So I can sing in agreement with the King this thing:
There’s only one thing that pleases the Father
The God-man on the tree in the midst of the scoffers
Now I finally see that Christ is what Christ offers
And I’m finally free in the love of the Father

Every single one

Sometimes I get spooked when I listen to Pandora because I feel like the computer like KNOWS its me listening, creepy (and awesome at the same time). Yesterday, as I was preparing to share with my church about my trip to India, I heard a song that completely put words to how I was feeling.

The song is "Every Single One" by Geoff Moore
Forty pairs of little eyes
Stared into this heart of mine
A memory burned inside my soul
One that never has let go
I’ve looked into the face of me
And the least of these stared back at me
I was unprepared and overwhelmed
With little time and much to tell

I’ve seen Jesus
standing all alone
I’ve seen Jesus
he was young and he was old
I’ve seen Jesus
in the eyes of all his daughters and sons
Every single one

In a world away from luxury
Is where I found prosperity
Where greater love laid down his life
For the orphaned and the widowed wife

I found Jesus
he’s living with the poor
I found Jesus
but he’s easy to ignore
Jesus, in the eyes of all his daughters and sons

I found Jesus
He’s standing all alone
I found Jesus
he is young and he is old
I found Jesus
in the eyes of all his daughters and sons
Every single one

Soundtrack to my life right now.

This is what I've been listening to in case you were by any chance wondering:

"i can feel it burning in my chest
the liberation for the oppressed
and it’s beautiful like the feet that bring good news
beautiful like this freedom tomb
beautiful like the power to choose
to change
beautiful like the long awaited rain
beautiful like the healing pains
beautiful like the holy flames, coming down"
All Creatures by Josh Garrels

Josh Garrels
especially... Joyful Boy, Train Song, and Rejoice and Lament (but really just all of them)
Joshua Rosen
Mourning Yearning by Ben Harper
Thanks to Carol.. "Tell Him" by Lauryn Hill

"If I were rain, I would go where water cannot be found"

So, I started a blog. I've been toying with the idea for a few months and I've finally given in. I am going to have to ease into this whole thing, so please bear with me and show me some grace on punctuation and typos etc. Also a forewarning: most of the content of my blog will be other people's brilliant and beautiful words, not my own (because writing was never my thing).

"If I were rain I would go where water cannot be found". These are the words of a 12 year old, Rani, from the book (suprsingly enough) "If I were rain" which tells the struggles of children in India through their own words.

Anyway, I love how kids can be so simple yet so insightful. It seems so obvious, that resources should go to those who don't have. Water (along with a number of other resources) should run to those who don't have it, yet somehow things have gotten complicated for us.

This quote comes alive to me as I think of the children I met in Kolkata this summer who knew the reality of living "where water cannot be found". In Besanti Colony, a slum in Kolkata, the children drank from water bottles tinted brown. It breaks my heart to think of these kids losing their childhood. These kids had so many worries. What was I thinking about when I was 12? Not what I was going to eat that day or where I would sleep .

At the same time, I am sitting here now remembering to the moments of joy I experienced with these kids as I saw them reclaim their childhood and just be kids. I see their faces, grinning ear to ear as they run through the streets of Kolkata chasing one another. I see their grins as they dance around with pride laughing at each other.

I could go on forever thinking about how precious the kids were! But in all seriousness, Rani's words inspire me to go where water cannot be found. These words move me to love where love is not found and to bring peace where there is no peace.